Week 1: Meet My Best Friend
I first started talking about another best friend. But then I stopped and I had to make this one about Jesse "Chops" McDonald. He has been my best friend for 21 years. He recently gained his angel wings on June 23rd, 2020 and it has been the hardest thing for me to deal with.
Jesse and I met back when we were 17 years old, back when you had to use AOL dial-up. Neither one of us can really remember what chat room we were in, but we were chatting away in the chat room & started sending each other IM's to each other.
He did kind of catfish me in a way lol he sent me pictures of another person, but I had his real name. But the thing is, looks didn't matter to me, I fell in love with him because of his personality.
He has always been my best friend since that day we met. It doesn't matter that it was online, we grew close and we both cared for one another. That's all that mattered to us.
As I sit here and write this, I am listening to the song he dedicated to us, Nickelback - Far Away and Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply and write this while holding back the tears.
Jesse was so amazing. Always there for me, no matter how long we went without talking. He didn't judge me or try to change who I was. He was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, regardless of the distance between us.
We dated long-distance, it wasn't the easiest, by far, but we always made it work somehow. I had planned on moving out there a long time ago, but neither of us could remember why we split. But we always managed to find each other again and again, and we would start right where we left off.
Jesse was such an amazing person. He cared for everyone and he would help anyone out if he could. He had the biggest heart and he is so beyond missed by everyone. I don't really think that he knew how many people's lives he touched and how many hearts he has reached out to.
Jesse and I had plans for our future together. I have felt like my whole world has been flipped upside down. I lost the love of my life.
He told me earlier this month that "since the day we first started talking, I can admit, I fell in love with you extremely early in our chats."
As I continue to read through our messages, so many things come up, so many emotions come running through me. I always knew that he always had my back. At one point he told me "out of all my exes you are the only one I would ever wanna be with again," and that "you know I have always been in love with you."
I remember that even though we were both in relationships and we still had these feelings, we always helped each other through relationship problems. It never mattered what it was, we always had each other's backs, we always stood next to one another.
He planned on moving out here to be with us. He told me all the time that we were soulmates that we belonged with one another.
He has been my best friend forever. I miss him beyond words.
I feel lost in this world without him. This seems like a huge nightmare that I can't wake up from. He told me that he was going to send Cheyanne a teddy bear and have one of his shirts put on it. I wish that he would have had the chance to do it before he passed.
Cheyanne does miss him like crazy, but she is always saying that he is watching down on her and making sure that she is doing good.
We may have never got to meet in person, and I wish that we had more time to do so, that I could have held him in my arms just once. But through the last 21 years, I have a lot of great memories that I will cherish forever, that I will keep locked away in my heart.
I'll cherish our friendship forever. He will forever be in my heart and I will never stop loving him.
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